I had this pointed out to me the other day.  Parker Brothers has updated the ever-popular Monopoly game so that even really, really dumb people can play.  The assumption, I guess, is that nearly everybody now has at least one copy of Monopoly (we have three for some reason) leaving only one market left untapped; people who failed first-grade mathematics.  Introducing Monopoly for Really Dumb People an edition designed to take all power of thought away from you, the player so you can focus on moving your top-hat (or the ultra-modern Segway?!?) playing piece.

Ok, I get that this is an attempt to update this game to work electronically but come on, how hard is it to add $100 + $100?  How are you supposed to slip that extra $500 under your seat so no one knows how much money you actually have?  Where’s the fun in that?  Where’s the benefit to being the banker if you don’t get to skim a little bit off the top each time you pass Go?

Legions of kids learned how to do simple math in their heads by buying Park Place while watching someone else buy Broadway.  Now we can teach them how to use a calculator as soon as they can punch the buttons and we won’t need addition anymore.

What I really can’t wait for is for a totally cashless society so I can buy a Monopoly that simply scans the barcode tattooed on my forehead.  That would be easy.

[Edit: My wife pointed this out to me, so credit where credit is due.]